What is Bullying?
Bullying is one of those behaviors that affect other people.
It not only affects the victim adversely but can also, if left unchecked, become a life pattern
that has serious consequences for the bully as well.
It occurs when one person (or more) repeatedly hurts another person through words or actions. Bullying may involve direct physical actions such as hitting or shoving, verbal assaults such as teasing or name-calling, or it may involve more indirect actions such as socially isolating a person or manipulating friendships. A bully wants to put his or her victim in distress in some way. Bullies seek power.
Many children and teens are bullied by their peers. The reasons children are bullied include shyness or social awkwardness, small size for age (especially boys), or recent emotional upset. Differences, such as having a physical, speech, or learning disability or being the “new kid” in a school can also contribute to bullying. It's not that big kids always bully little kids. Any kid can be bullied; any kid can bully.
What’s the prevalence of bullying?
Studies show that these acts usually occur in and around school buildings, in schoolyards, corridors, or bathrooms during school breaks.
The acts themselves include hitting, pushing, and kicking, as well as indirect behaviors such as threatening, name-calling, or exclusion. Bullying always involves a power imbalance between the bully and the victim.
In a sample of 15,000 students in
U.S. schools in grades six to ten,
30% reported moderate to frequent involvement in bullying. The highest incidence occurred in middle school.
Other studies have shown that:
Every day in the U.S. about 160,000 students miss school due to fear of bullying.
14% of those who experience severe bullying suffer lifelong psychiatric problems.
22% of students who experience bullying have academic problems.
Children who are bullies are six times more likely to have a criminal conviction by age 24.
What are some of the long-term effects?
People who are bullied may become depressed, have low self-esteem, lose interest in schoolwork or try to avoid attending school. Throughout their lives, victims generally feel more insecure, anxious, or depressed than their cohorts, and have higher rates of absenteeism at school or work.
Psychological counseling can often help a child deal with the emotional damage done by bullying.
Identifying and Helping the Victim
To determine if your child is a victim of bullying, look for these signs:Is socially withdrawn
Has few friends
Feels picked on, isolated, or rejected
Often complains of illness to avoid going to school
His or her possessions are often damaged or “lost”
Wants to take some kind of weapon to school for protection
Talks about running away
Talks about hurting themselves or others
Common personality traits of victims
cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn, passive, submissive and shy
anxious, insecure, unhappy, distressed, have poor self-esteem
difficulty in asserting themselves among their peers
physically or developmentally weaker than their peers
afraid of being hurt or hurting themselves while playing
relate better to adults then to peers
unpopular with peers and often do not have a single friend
If your child becomes withdrawn, depressed, reluctant to go to school,
or if you see a decline in school performance, additional consultation or intervention may be required.
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Identifying and Helping the Bully
 Children who victimize their classmates may be heading down a path toward more antisocial behavior and delinquency. Childhood bullies tend to become bullying adults. They’re more likely to become child, or spouse, abusers, and more likely to exhibit criminal behavior including involvement in vandalism and drug abuse.
One study found that 60% of chronic bullies had an arrest record in their early twenties. Bullying behavior is also linked with other anti-social behaviors, such as fighting, vandalism, drug and alcohol abuse and developing gang alliances. Often counseling can help bullies learn ways to change their behavior.
Look for these sign to determine if your child is a bully: Attempts to dominate others
Is a poor loser
Is a poor winner—upon winning, will become arrogant
Has poor anger control
Is a discipline problem
Derives satisfaction from others’ discomfort
Lacks empathy
Common personality traits of bullies Tease, threaten or physically assault others
Hot-tempered and/or impulsive
Have a hard time following rules
Hyperactive and restless/li>
Difficulty concentrating or ADD
Generally offensive and tension-creating
Clumsy and emotionally immature
Aggressive toward adults as well as children
Are not anxious or insecure
Typically have a positive view of themselves
Show little or no empathy toward their victims
Involved in other antisocial activities, such as vandalism
Popular for awhile, but lose their popularity as they get older and are eventually disliked by the majority of students
If you suspect your child is bullying others, it's important to seek help for him or her as soon as possible. Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child's pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor, or family physician.
If the bullying continues, Reflections Counseling Center can provide a comprehensive evaluation along with counseling. This will help you and your child understand what is causing the bullying, and help in developing a plan to stop the destructive behavior.
 All children have the right to a school environment where they feel safe and can learn to the best of their abilities. Bullying can have lifelong consequences for both children who are bullied and the children who exhibit bullying behavior!
Reflections Counseling Center
can help your child, family and the school develop a strategy to deal with the bullying.
Seeking professional assistance earlier can lessen the risk of lasting emotional consequences for your child.
THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE
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